I wrote this post on April 30th, 2026, and scheduled it to go live on my birthday. By the time you read this, I’m confident I’ll have landed my next role. Happy birthday to me!
My last day at Xendit is May 12, 2026. But my last working day is April 30, because they needed to advance it. I'm in the middle of handing things over right now.
I didn't see this coming. If you told me six months ago that this is how the story ends, I would not have believed you. It is sad, and I have had to sit with that.
Xendit is offering me a Mutual Termination Agreement. Nobody is calling it a layoff. The paperwork will say "mutual." I want to be clear with anyone reading this. I did not ask to leave. Sure, I would have moved on eventually, on my own terms, at a time that made sense. This wasn't that. Xendit made the decision, and the legal vocabulary around it is the polite version. The word "mutual" does a lot of heavy lifting in these conversations, and the person sitting across the table knows it too.
What I do know is that I gave everything I had to this place until the very last day. When the team left and I was the only one standing, I had chances to follow them out the door, but I couldn't bring myself to abandon what we'd built. When the product needed someone to own it alone, I owned it. When the fraud incident hit, I didn't sleep until it was contained. I did my best until my last breath here, and no agreement letter changes that.
I'm not writing this to drag anyone. I'm writing it because I'm about to spend the next few weeks talking to recruiters and hiring managers, and I'd rather they hear the real story from me than try to read between the lines on LinkedIn.
Four years, three projects
I joined Xendit in January 2022 and stayed until May 2026. Across those four years I worked on three main projects. The last two ran concurrently inside the Experiments org, where engineers often carried more than one product at a time.
1. Software Engineer, Virtual Accounts.
2. Software Engineer, Experiments / (E-Money / NexCash).
3. Software Engineer, Experiments / NEX.
The NEX years are the ones I'll remember most, and the ones I'm most proud of. These are the bigger things, in the order they mattered:
Sole engineer on NEX. When the lead and the other two engineers left, I was the only one remaining. I stepped up as a temporary lead for about a month, owning every technical decision, every stakeholder conversation, every on-call page. Then I was told I wasn't the right fit for the lead role because they were bringing in "more senior" engineers. I went back to being the sole engineer who knew the entire system inside out, without the title. You learn a lot about a system when no one else can answer. You also learn a lot about how organizations value loyalty.
Memory leak hunt in the NEX backend. Took it from 800+ MiB usage with over 100% growth rate down to around 385 MiB with 15% growth. More than a 50% reduction in memory footprint. Took weeks of profiling and a real refusal to accept "just give it more pods" as an answer. I consider this the last gift I gave to my kid, NEX. I wasn't going to leave it sick.
Bank Mayapada (BMI) scaling bottleneck. Traced a CPU saturation issue down to Node.js crypto blocking operations. Put a caching layer in front of it. The thing that was about to topple over started behaving.
GCRA rate limiting for the BMI integration. Designed the rate limiter using the Generic Cell Rate Algorithm so we'd stop tripping the bank's limits, plus a circuit breaker so a bank maintenance window wouldn't cascade into a full NEX outage. The team later stopped using it and went with a hacky workaround instead. The proper solution was right there, but that's how it goes sometimes.
Production fraud incident. Worked through a QRIS fraud incident with potential exposure of 120k USD. Stress like nothing else, but we contained it. The fraudster was identified, police got involved, and the money is being returned in installments. The part that still stings: once the immediate crisis was over, every follow-up I pushed for (penetration testing, development time to patch the vulnerabilities) got deprioritized and then abandoned. Leadership did not want to invest in fixing the root cause once the fire stopped burning. Meanwhile, leadership kept bringing up the incident as if I was the one who caused it, not the one who contained it. Looking back, I think this sealed the decision to let me go. My manager said, "I don't really understand why they're not accepting you, but we both might know why." Yeah. We both know why.
The resume has more, but those are the ones that meant the most to me.
What I'm grateful for
I grew the most during my time in the BAU org (Virtual Accounts). That's where I learned how real payment infrastructure works at scale, and built the habits that carried me through everything that came after. Experiments taught me different things: how to survive with limited resources, how to think at a product level instead of just the technical side, how to make decisions when nobody's steering the ship, how to hold something together alone. But there was no path to grow there. Not slow. Absent. When they replaced me as temp lead with someone "more senior" after I'd been the one holding everything together, that told me how much they trusted me to step up. Hard to grow in a place that doubts you while depending on you at the same time.
I worked with some of the best people I've ever met. This part is long, but these people deserve it.
Experiments / NEX
Sergio Utama: First impression was that he seemed scary. But his vast experience was incredibly helpful. I learned a lot from him. He was just like a father figure for me in NEX and Experiments. My lead in NEX, and at first I disagreed with a lot of his decisions. Now I understand why he made them. Thank you for sticking around and working on BMI together.
Kirin Hou: Tall guy! My first impression was that he's an awkward person, very shy, rarely talks. The first time I talked to him was in Bangkok during our company trip. Thanks for sharing stuff related to infra with me. Wishing you and your wife the best of luck always!
Jaydon Chong: My first conversation with him was during my first fire at Xendit, back when I was still in BAU. It was somehow related to Remittance, and he happened to join the war room. I couldn't understand his question at the time (sorry bro). But as we worked together on NEX and NexCash, I think we grew closer. One of the clever guys out there. Thanks for being patient with me.
Ahmad Alfajhri and Arga Asasta: You two became some of my closest friends in NEX. That matters more than any code we shipped together.
Muhammad Norzariman Razari: Fun guy. I wished I got to know you longer. Thanks for the "nyeleneh" advice when my wife got pregnant, I still think about that and laugh.
Syed Muzani: Same energy as Zariman. He willingly (I don't know the full truth behind it) switched from mobile engineering to backend! Thanks for giving me life lessons on becoming a parent.
Vania Kartawidjaja: Lovely and kind person. She handled everything on NexCash well. (Also, and I say this with full respect: she resembles my ex a lot, from the way she talks to the name itself. But that's ancient history and irrelevant, I think it's funny.)
Alex Tzeng: The one I couldn't even understand the most. Took me three days just to get a single PR approved by him. But thanks anyway for the explanations, I learned something every time even if it didn't feel like it in the moment.
Willy PT: I learned a lot from him. The way he looks at problems, I can see myself doing that too. Like I just understand how he thinks, and that kind of alignment is rare.
Brian Chan: Good person. I think he misunderstood me a lot at first, but toward the end I got to know him better. Glad we got there.
Chua Song Lin: Extrovert energy that even I, as an extrovert, couldn't match. Good buddy, and he listened to all my storytelling, which takes real patience.
Shun Yuan Tan: He loves to stay alone, a real introvert. But our deep talks while I was half drunk in Bangkok were something else. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your situation in Singapore. That meant a lot.
Elek Chen: The most clever person I have ever worked with throughout my entire career.
Duong: Thanks for being my first partner (along with Zariman) while working on NEX!
Bill Liu: Friendly person. It's just that sometimes he tends to be "hard" on all of us, but still one of the best NEX members.
Sayed Mahmudul Alam: Friendly guy. Only about two months working together. Seemed like a good person. Too bad he didn't continue here.
Hafiz Ahmad Syauqi and Yudha Winter Pratama: Both known as Upin & Ipin. Very friendly. Thanks for helping with the ops.
Alvin Budiharjo: Thanks for helping the customers of NEX on any kind of problems!
Do Tan: I don't know either. In real life he is a different person than what his photo looks like. Thanks for being there and helping me test NEX and NexCash!
Stacy Ramli: Elegant, direct. Sergio asked me to have more discussions with her right after he left. Our first meeting was in Bangkok? I remember she asked me where I came from, I told her Surabaya, and then she got excited telling me her husband is also from Surabaya. Good luck being a new mother!
Regina Martha: Calm. I think you need to "speak" more, be more direct on things. But you're doing great as a product manager! (PS: Brian asked me to help you learn about becoming a PM.)
Cheryl Pangestu: She deserved to be mentioned here. We had a lot of hard communication, but she's still one of the few people I admire in terms of being a workaholic.
Robin Arroyo: Heyyyyyy, my only data scientist (or data engineer?). Stop using "haha" in like every 10 words of your sentences, what the heck. Although you're a shy person, I think you're capable of even more, just by looking at how you work and the outcomes of it. Keep being golden as always!
Alina Shevchenko: Another "bule." Nice and friendly! Thanks for all the work we did together. Sad we only met once in the office. Good luck!
Leo Siburian: Friendly, kind of extrovert. Good friend on NEX!
Waseanika Dicky Ersya: Shy guy. Thanks for all the work we did together!
JC and Maahir Ur Rahman Mohamed Shibly: (Or is Maahir the assistant? Or is JC? Or both of them? kidding) Thanks for the help with all the QRIS and BaaS stuff. All the best!
Saeed: Sergio told me to learn more from him as an OG Experiments member. Too bad we didn't have time to work together.
Russel Wong: Another tall guy?? He was very nice, even sending me a lot of things through DM about Apollo when I was initially going to join that team.
Elizabeth Chan: Looks like a fun girl! We had a good chitchat in Bangkok. Thanks for sharing the laughs with me and the rest of the NEX team.
Brian Pradipta: Never met him. But we were supposed to create a Dota team and play together with Evan Yoga and Teofebano Kristo!!! Too bad we never had the time. Madolers!
Wilson: No strong impression, but I just realized I'd been talking to him outside of Xendit (after he left) without connecting the dots.
Dedy Kurniawan Santoso: Cuek. Thanks for helping with all kinds of stuff and answering all kinds of questions from me on infra. Good luck!
Jihad Abdurrohman: Just like a dosen. He doesn't go straight to the solution, he starts explaining from the concept first. A good dosen, I would say.
BAU / Virtual Accounts / Cashpay
Frieda Uswatun Hasanah: One of my closest friends since college. Always a safe place for me. She's the one who referred me to Xendit in the first place, and she always listened, always trusted me. I'll do my best to keep our dreams of MAANG alive. We're not done yet. I'm not done either.
Nikki Ng: Never met her. Never worked together directly either. But she was the one who recommended Frieda to refer me to Xendit. Heard good things about her.
Kenneth Wee: Cool guy, extrovert. I might not have learned technical things from him, but he opened up my mind to the broader world outside of software engineering. Always pushing me to get the best out of my ability.
Ronauli Silva: Crazily clever person, but sometimes she thinks too wide (that's a compliment, mostly). She's our senior from college (same campus as me and Frieda). I remember telling her I got an offer from a certain company starting with "GoP" but rejected it. A few months later she was working at it. Life is funny like that.
Kharis Khasburrahman: Great tech lead. Someone with insanely high initiative on everything, superb response time, feels like a robot sometimes (and that's why I kept advising him to take a break and find hobbies). He gave me the freedom to take on the Virtual Accounts SNAP API migration initiative, and that trust shaped a big part of my career.
Ismail Rabbanii: Weird-looking guy at first glance, turns out he's a bit extrovert. A great product manager and an incredibly patient one. One time he and Nadhil challenged me to EA FC (FIFA back then). You know the result.
Johan Avril Yansen: A weeb, nerd-looking guy. A friend of Frieda, we knew each other a year before Xendit. He once mistook me for the other Fajar Firdaus, which yes, I also know. Bright thinker.
Joshua Miarsa: Nerd guy, but a bit extrovert. Lemon guy! Me, Joshua, Johan, and Rangga had the same connection: Dota! I remember on our mini company trip, Rangga was always discussing Dota stuff, and Joshua was sitting there like a robot while stirring up his Lemon.
Reky Rolen Kencana: Total weeb. Extrovert to the point where I didn't even know him but he talked to me like we'd been friends for years. Me, Reky, Rona, and Savero went riding together in Bali, that was a good time. He streams now, and I admire him for it. Makes me want to start streaming too. Very good and friendly person.
Muhammad Savero: Looks like a gangster. I remember the first time meeting him, he said "bro, lu ada korek ga?" or something like that. One of my good friends here. So sad I couldn't make it to his wedding reception. (Who sends the invitation to someone 800km away a week or two before the party?)
Nathanael Gavin Siregar: I thought he was a typical JKT48 fan (WOTA). Maybe he is? Him and Savero were the ones who interviewed me. I still remember them asking me about database sharding. Like, why are you asking that to a developer coming from a corporate company? Also, how do you unlock your middle brain, again?
Josua Aditya Mustiko: I don't think we met during my time in Virtual Accounts. We finally met up at a concert (Radwimps?), and I remember how awkward it was because I didn't expect to meet someone I only knew virtually. One of my good friends here. Too bad we became friends when I was already done playing Dota. Thanks for listening and pushing me as always!
Haveiss Muhamad: Serem. But I got the chance to learn from one of the best engineers I could have ever worked with. Same as YC, Iman, and Reij, I spent time just looking at their PRs and digesting how they do things. Thanks!
Samuel Ricko P: Seems like an asbun person. He did a lot of "annoying" things, but I'm grateful to have had him around. If not for him, I wouldn't have been able to share some of my knowledge, which became the core foundation of my engineering principle. Sesama arek Jatim!
Angga: Quiet. And yes, he is very quiet. I only had a few conversations with him, but I didn't have much time working with him either.
Carneles: Orang yang kaku. And yes he is very kaku. But he gave me some useful inputs at the time. Good engineer as well.
Rangga Putra Pertama: Awkward person. I didn't get the chance to know him much, but I've heard good things about him. Seems like he's grown well outside of Xendit.
Reynaldi: Sigma guy. I had some time working with him in VA. I think we even had to solve the Lummo fire back then? Or was it BukaWarung? The BRI fraud one. Thanks for helping us manage the comms with other parties while engineers were working on the fix.
Nabiel Khawarizmy: I could sense he would become an extrovert. He knew Frieda from the previous company if I remember correctly. Thanks for always being golden and keeping the culture alive in Virtual Accounts. Although our time together was short, I'm so grateful for it. Oh! The desk! You were arranging a wedding gift for me! Yes! The desk is still safe and being used till now! Thanks!
Ajie Prasetyo: Keren, si rambut badai! Thanks for being friendly with me in Bangkok. We never met before that, but we had some time working together in VA. I remember him introducing himself to me: "Aji, gua sempet di VA waktu itu." Don't worry, I remember all my colleagues very well.
Nadhil Janitra: Brengsek person. Well, we didn't work together, but we spent quite a lot of time in Bali. Good luck, mantap sekarang jadi bapak-bapak, jangan lupa ibadahnya diperkuat. I remember him asking me about my relationship with my girlfriend-now-wife.
Ingemar Su: Chill guy. I didn't work with him either, but our time in Bali was a good one. We spent some time talking and drinking, and I enjoyed the time we had together.
Rizki Duwinanto: Awkward person. We still talk to this day. Our first meeting, I was asking him about someone I used to know from Tinder. Turns out they're friends. So it made it even more awkward because she was a ghost and I was waiting for her message, and she knew it.
Andy Boey: First impression was that he's not like a regular developer. Seemed more like a product guy. I didn't get the chance to know him much, but at least I nearly beat him in our Gokart race. Nearly beating a real racer counts for something.
Christoforus Surjoputro: Seemed like a lost person when I first met him back in October 2016. Thanks for introducing me to the Surabaya tech community. I'll be sure to give back to it in the near future. Jangan lupa ke Kopivator! And ping me if you're ever back in Surabaya.
Fadel Ananda Dotty: Taller than I expected. Thanks for the chitchat. Wishing you good luck. Ping me if you're back in Surabaya.
Closing
I had four good years here. Most of the people I worked with were excellent. The work was real and it mattered. The way it's ending is not the way I would have chosen, and I don't owe anyone a polite version of it. But I also know that the things I built, the fires I put out, the months I held NEX together alone: none of that disappears because someone decided it was time for me to go.
If you've been through one of these and want to compare notes, my inbox is open. On to the next thing.