Loving you has become synonymous with breaking myself.
Ominously and so subtly present when I met you.
Veiled in the shadows of a love I thought would save me.
Easing myself into a devastating contract I didn't understand.
I signed myself up for eternal misery without even knowing.
Signed myself up for the pain of losing myself within you.
Darkness seeped in while your hands intertwined with mine.
Evading all detection before it was too late.
A love built up on lies and unrequited feelings.
Dead, the idea that love ever ends in love.
Loving someone who cannot or will not love you back can leave you waiting for a change that never comes. Hope makes it hard to see what that waiting costs.
The "devastating contract" describes a commitment whose cost becomes clear too late. Loving someone deeply cannot make them return the feeling.
The darkness that "seeps in" describes feeling alone even during physical closeness. Being next to someone does not always mean feeling loved.
I wrote this while learning to recognize when love becomes destructive. Wanting "happily ever after" can make it hard to admit that staying hurts.
Love can end gradually. What remains may be attachment to a person, or to what the relationship used to be.
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